The one man prostitute
Synopsis of:
The one man prostitute
(TOMP)
INTRO:
Well, what is a prostitute?
By definition, it is a person that has sex for money, not excluding to have fun doing so, but at least for a monetary advantage.
The normal perspective probably most people have of prostitution is about some woman that has it going with a bunch of sleazy men, one after the other, in a slightly smelling backyard, red light atmosphere included.
That’s perfectly not the whole story about prostitution, there are male prostitutes, there are gay ones, there are lesbian ones, there is a huge variety of different sorts of prostitution. And they all have been discussed, one way or the other.
Yet, there is one sort of prostitutes that lives happily among us and is even socially tolerated, if not appreciated. And, nobody ever talks about this even more common version of prostitution, THE ONE MAN PROSTITUTE.
This way of prostitution is so different from all other kinds. This prostitute does not have a bunch of sleazy men a day; this one solicits only one customer. And this customer she calls her boyfriend or even her husband. She does surely have some sort of liaison with him but her main objective is MONEY or other valuable benefits. This one man prostitute has its male counter part; commonly indeed it is a female and will be therefore referred from now on as the TOMP (THE ONE MAN PROSTITUTE).
CHAPTER I
History
Prostitution has a real long story. It most likely started short after mankind did move from the tree to the cave. That time, men had only two good reasons to leave that cosy cave. One was food ………………….
The English word whore, referring to (female) prostitutes, is taken from the old English word hōra.
Prostitution is often described as “the world’s oldest profession.” Prostitution in modern terms can actually only occur after the money came in humans hand, since there must be some return for the service, yet, it is believed that, since even some sort of chimpanzee have a similar to prostitution behaviour on the bases of food that it was maybe even on the tree already an issue.
There was as well something like a holy prostitution, like in temples all over the planet. The most famous one is probably the one of Aphrodite in ancient Babylon. It was a must that every woman did sell herself once in her life to a stranger. Great and famous temples had as much as 2000 women doing the work of goddess` of all names.
The Bible after all religious texts has numerous parts about prostitution; the most famous prostitute I assume is the one who should be stoned to death. Jesus even said: who is free of guild can throw the first stone.
The ancestor of the Jewish king David was a prostitute and the old Greeks even made the prostitutes pay taxes and even established the first whorehouse in the 5th century. The Greek word for prostitute is porne, so that’s how we end with the porn business and the endless porno DVD’s and tapes today. Geishas in Japan and India got famous even 2000 years down in history.
The ancient Rome was famous for its foreign sex slaves, a culture the old Romans did fancy as much as the gladiators.
Even when the Catholic Church did not appreciate prostitution at all, in the Middle Ages prostitution was in city boundaries and even later it became common in the major towns and cities to have city whorehouses. The occurrence of sexual disease made life then harder for the prostitutes.
From the early 1800´s on the use of condoms was spreading from Italy. The first ones were made of cow bowel and by far not so easy to use as the ones today.
At the beginning of the 19th century prostitution became a public issue as Britain passed the Contagious Diseases Act which applied as well to the British colonies. The standpoints were hard, maybe as hard as today’s abortion policy in the United States. Feminists were fighting the government for this Act. In the States, prostitution was mostly legal and got under fire around 1900 when the Christian Unions made it an issue as well as drugs and alcohol. Still it is legal in parts of Nevada. At the upcoming of HIV times got hard again for prostitutes around the world since they were related to its spread.
Today, for example in Germany, there are about one million men seeking the service of a prostitute a day. Since Germany has only 80 million people, half of them are women, remaining 40 million, of this another half are children and elderly, remaining 20 million, it can be said that everybody does know somebody who takes the service of a prostitute. At least in Germany, and it is surely not different elsewhere.
CHAPTER II
The third “F”
When dealing with a TOMP, the one and only strategy should be the three “F´s”. Find them, fuck them and forget them. The most important “F” for you at this stage is the third “F”, the forget them “F”.
“Your taxi is waiting downstairs” is the tone of voice suitable for a TOMP in the morning. No emotional attachments please. After reading this book you should be able to identify and be capable of dealing with a TOMP.
Don’t worry; there are plenty of them, enough for all men. Every man should have a TOMP at least once in his life. You will ask why you should not get too attached to one of them. Because they are prostitutes, want your money, not you. Okay, you don’t mind, I do. My demanding in partnership is much more then to be served cause of my money; surprisingly I want a woman that loves me.
So, you had a great night with one of them, you are relaxed and empty, had even breakfast with her and she, in her mind, is calculating your wealth and the possibility of getting you in the sack by judging your apartment and belongings on her personal TOMP-Richter scale. This is the moment you got to say “your taxi is waiting downstairs” or you lost on her already. Anything else is just not appropriate.
She left, you finally got rid of her and in your mind now you are scrolling the list of possible victims for tonight’s dinner in your mobile archive when your father calls and asks you out. Sure you accept and after a hard day of work, at dinner, you ask him, Papa, how is your harem? And when he answers: “Son, why buy when you can rent?” you know where your attitude towards women comes from.
CHAPTER III
A typical TOMP
The TOMP we talk about here is like the Porsche you just bought, but you were kind of short on money and took the one with no extra interior and the smaller engine.
The way she dresses is a just a little too sexy, too flashy and loud. Sure, she needs to be on the market and she thinks she is state of the art. The most desirable thing as far she is concerned since Madonna got a little older.
Her clothes are also always a bit too tight, sure, you have to see what could be yours. The titts are made, some liposuction is already done (the last owner did pay for it) and the lips are a little bloated related to some collagen injection.
TOMP´s are always in 2 Pac´s, they don’t come alone. Her best friend (usually a TOMP as well) is with her, the two gorgeous things are together on the hunt.
Her looks are a bit cheap, sure, they are kind of brakes in between their engagements. They will fancy anyone they consider a possible “client” (commonly called boyfriend or husband) and they are presenting themselves as a mixture between an angel and a vamp. First they give you an eye, and then they will watch the floor for some seconds, followed by a deep look in your eyes again.
Thier accessories are all labels. Prada, Gucci, Dolce & Gabbana, Boss or Louis Vuitton. All expensive stuff so you can decide at the first glanze if you can afford that girl, the decoration shows you her “value”.
You ask me where to find the TOMP´s? Well, that’s pretty easy. They are in these hotspots usually mentioned in some useless guidebooks. Bars, Shops, Restaurants, Discos, Lounges, Health Spas, even Hotels or Clubs like Club Med is a sure 100% hit. There they do present themselves in exposed places. That’s about the same system as the product placement in a supermarket; the goods have to be in highly visible position to sell well. You get the picture?
And you little idiot are able and allowed to “timeshare” this precious and luxurious jewel, so, be nice and just walk straight to her.
I think we all know this kind of girls, don’t we?
CHAPTER IV
The Arabian gardens
One really interesting question is: “How did these girls get where they are?”
Well, an Arabian saying goes like this: “20 years you are taking best care of your garden, giving precious water to the plants, cut the leaves, do the best ever to have this garden pretty and the fruits juicy and ripe, and then some man come and takes that garden, your beautiful daughter. Just take it, all your investment is gone, the work of 20 years.
And somehow in the back of his mind every father thinks this way, at least sometimes. He will not admit, but he does.
The mother’s perspective is quite different. It depends if she is a TOMP as well or a decent human being that just happens to be a female. But then she usually does not have a TOMP as a daughter, ya, you could say there is genetic factor in TOMPism involved.
A TOMP mother, well educated by such highlights as “Dallas” or “Denver”, “Sex in the city” or “Desperate Housewife’s” will get all this useful information on to her daughter. The daughter will be told by mummy that her way in life will be to find a hubbie and nail him big time. Get a baby and annoy him. Surely before marriage, why should he marry otherwise? “What will the neighbours say” is not important anymore, that was a reason in the last century, not in this one.
On the way to find that desired husband (he has to fit in a certain pattern, wealthy and starting from about 5 million € he can be even way over 70 years old) life is for free for her, some boyfriend or lover will pay for the dinner. Okay, there is a certain price she has to pay but, anyhow it is not made of soap, it does not dissolve (I am sure you know what I am talking about).
The TOMP, on the other hand, really deserves some defence too. Pressed by her father to get of his payroll, mislead by the mother (ex-TOMP) and flattered by all this nice men, her way in life is not so easy. How to get through without selling her body at a brothel? Working, you have to understand, is not an option. Okay, at MTV studios running around as some assistant with high heels and a mini mini skirt to show the executive producers what long legs she’s got that sounds fine. But how many assistants does MTV need.
And, to be fair, women still get less money for the same job then men. So she starts going out with men and finds out that it can be a free ride all over, high life for nothing so to say (it is not a soap, don’t forget, it will be fine after washing. Somebody will pay again for the dinner. And, in her mind, it is not prostitution. She has a boyfriend or lover, even a short relationship is a fine excuse.
So the Arabian gardens make her a TOMP, the family pushes her to get out of the house.
CHAPTER V
Serial Monogamy
And another drizzling question is: “How can these girls exist?”
They have to live, pay rent, buy clothes, have health insurance and so on.
Close your eyes for a sec (I know it’s difficult while you are reading) and imagine a TOMP as mentioned above! A TOMP just a little too sexy, too flashy and too loud dressed. And keep her goals in mind.
Did you visualize one well? Did you see her by herself or was she with somebody? And was it a male or a female somebody? I will tell you, it was a guy and they were having dinner. How I know? I was in a restaurant before and I did see lots and lots of TOMPS there.
On the long road of finding some owner (some people call him husband, I don’t) a TOMP has to survive. Since normal work will not pay for all of her costs, she needs to find a part time owner to pay. If anybody will ask her, this is her boyfriend or she is dating this guy. As a matter of fact, he is the one to pay the bills.
If you ask her if she is faithful she will answer “YES, sure” and she will give you that “fuck you” look only TOMPS are capable of. But what kind of faith is this? She is faithful not to love (actually she doesn’t love in a romantic way anyhow) nor to a guy, she is faithful to her way, the serial monogamy that she is brought up since she left daddy’s Arabian garden. I personally think she is faithful to money, so there is some faith after all.
Serial monogamy is pretty popular these days and is not a lifestyle reserved for TOMPS, a lot of woman (and men) in the modern world relate to that system. After getting sick of the partner they get the next one and, while they are not fucking around, they have a good excuse to themselves that they are a slot (men are casanovas, there is a difference). I am not talking of some woman who has a new boyfriend 5 times in her life; I am talking about the ones who have a new one every other week.
You think that I am too hard on them? Okay, bring the book back to the store and try to get some refund.
CHAPTER VI
Renovation Costs
Plastic surgery is what occures first when talking about a TOMP´s renovation costs. Last visit at the surgeant was already some years ago, gravity did its work and the titts are not at the desired place anymore. So you end up with that huge doctors bill and on top of it you can not use the TOMP for at least 2 weeks.
Than, when taking her over to your household, her last big shopping trip was as well some time ago (with the last owner) and her stuff is in general not up to date anymore. Sure she will not do this shopping trips in the first month, she wants to establish herself in your life first and then start to do the damage. So, after the doctor bill there are plenty more to come. Dresses, cosmetics, shoes, interior bullshit of all kinds, jewellery, electronic gadgets like iPods and laptops, all needs to be new since the last owner bought her old stuff years ago. The prize is high for these so special 5 minutes, isn´t it?
CHAPTER VII
Maintenance Costs
So you are some months with her. It´s time to start feeding her family. The financial situation is not that great there, just temporary, you have to understand. Do you? Her little brother (isn´t he sweet) just lost his job, as her owner (she calls you boyfriend) you just got to help. Her little puppie has to go to the vet, her health insurance bill will be placed next to your scrambled eggs on the breakfast table and it is out of doubts that now you own her. Congratulations, you did not obbey CHAPTER II, the third “F” as mentioned there. Stupid you!
Also, your nerves should be a subject here since you have to listen to the crab she is talking (and she does not have a university degree). When you calculate that time (the listening time) on top of your spendings (let us assume you do 200 € an hour) you will appreciate the service of a normal prostitute even more and see actually how cheap a brothel fuck is compared to a TOMP maintenance.
CHAPTER VIII
There is no such thing as being a little pregnant
This will start when you are the least prepared. Darling, I am not so sure about the future of this relationship! If you don´t answer: “What? Which relationship? I am just fucking you and paying well for it!” you are already lost.
She will try to talk you in the thing called marriage, a non temporary ownership. This is her top goal in the whole deal, she wants to be “off the road”.
In the process of talking you in to this she will be sweat like an angel, she will show her best sides and will paint a picture of that nice and admirable family that TV commercials usually show you.
Best off you are when you use the offer for some more time and postpone an answer up till you can not escape any more. But don´t worry, she will not be sleeping on the streets, she has a plan B already.
CHAPTER IX
Plan B
A TOMP knows about the difficulties to get somebody to marry her and about the uncertainties that it is you to buy. So, slowly but steady she is preparing plan B. This plan is quite simple and you have to know about it, even it hurts your feelings cause back in your brain you want to think that she loves you.
A man always thinks that all women do love him, he is a great stud and the girls just fall for him. But with a TOMP, that’s quite different.
They don´t actually love you, they may feel quite good with you and even have some sort of emotional attachments, but it is not love. Remember her main objectives, it is to find a save cave, bread and have a nice life. So, it does not really matter with whom as long as the person does wash himself at least once a week and is wealthy.
So, since the person is not that important she will (even in a “relationship” that is not jet save and only marriage is) be still looking for another potential owner, called plan B. When she is meeting with her friends, doing the shopping, whenever she is out she will be throwing glances to other men to make sure she does not miss another opportunity.
And plan B can be even double your age when he got double your wealth, that simply does not matter. And because he will be a little older he is willing to wait for this jewel and to be there when your decision comes not to marry. Shortly after she is gone and her new owner will do the necessary shopping and renovation. You got it?
Chapter X
The 3 “F´s”
Find them, fuck them, forget them! That’s the strategy, the one and only way for a good man to get through life without having a one man prostitute at his side and, maybe one day, you will find a decent woman and be happily married.
But don’t fall for a hooker just because she is not working in a brothel!
By Rainer Deyhle
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